As a student at McNair High School, Divine Wilkins has always felt like a bit of an outsider, but that is how most students at his high school feel. Like many of his classmates, he struggles to make it to school some days because he is not always well fed. His mother works two jobs to support their family, and his father has been in and out of jail for his entire life. Divine is the oldest of four children and is often expected to play the role of father at home, despite only being sixteen years old. When he is at school, all Divine really wants is a break from the burdens he is forced to take on at home. He loves to learn and is willing to work hard, but McNair High School is an environment that breeds both apathy and violence. Earlier this year, one of Divine’s best friends was murdered in a drive-by shooting just a few blocks from the school.
Despite his circumstances, Divine does his best to be a good student. His goal is to become a journalist after graduating high school, but he is worried that he will not be prepared for college. Since the beginning of the school year, three of his teachers have quit, so he is concerned that he is not getting the education he needs and deserves. He understands why his teachers quit though. If he could, he would leave McNair High School too. He is tired of seeing multiple fights break out every day. Last semester, a girl in his class had to get her stomach pumped after a school bake sale because someone baked marijuana into the cookies that the home economics class made and didn’t tell anyone. She ate four of them, and she almost didn’t survive.
Because Divine is a quiet student, he often gets lost in the shuffle. He gets left to his own devises by teachers because he is not actively making trouble in class. This leads to Divine goofing off with his friends instead of getting his work done. Divine feels simultaneously not challenged by the material he is learning and overwhelmed by everything he is expected to get done in such a chaotic environment. It is a difficult position to be in, largely because his teachers are spread so thin with students who need more attention than he does that he feels like he cannot ask for help or for extra work. One thing that Divine really enjoys is when the class gets to do independent work using the iPads provided by the school. Of course, this does not happen often because there are a lot of students and only a small supply of iPads, but on days they get to use this technology, Divine is at his happiest. He likes using sites like No Red Ink and Grammarly to improve his writing. If he finishes an assignment early, there is always more for him to do on sites like this. He also enjoys reading newspaper articles when he finishes his work. The iPad provides him a great way to pursue his interest during his free time in class.
Divine’s family does not have Internet access at their house because they cannot afford it, so Divine often has missing assignments in classes that assign homework that requires the Internet. He often wishes that more of his teachers were aware of his circumstances, but he is embarrassed that his family has little money. He knows that many of his classmates are in the same situation, but he still feels bad about himself because of his family’s financial situation. When asked by teachers why his assignments are missing, he usually just shrugs and says he did not feel like doing it. He wishes his teachers would realize that he really does care and would do his work if he could. He does not want to make excuses though, so he just acts like he thinks he is too cool to do homework. Divine has been labeled by some of his teachers as a “lost cause” because they think he is completely apathetic towards his schoolwork. In reality, Divine would love to get his homework done. Although he does recognize on an intellectual level that the circumstances are beyond his control, he still somehow feels like it is his fault. He feels bad complaining about his circumstances because he knows that some other students in class have it worse than he does. One of his classmates, Jaylen, has Autism Spectrum Disorder, and even Divine can tell that the school barely does anything to help him. Divine imagines that Jaylen feels really overwhelmed by everything that goes on in the school. There are so many fights, and it is hard for even Divine to stay focused. Knowing that others have even more trouble makes Divine feel like his personal struggle is invalidated.
Luckily, Divine has one teacher who has noticed that he really does care. His English teacher picked up on his natural writing talent, and she has encouraged him to pursue his dream of being a journalist. Not all of Divine’s classmates have been so lucky as to have a teacher act as a mentor. Divine’s friend M’Kyia wants to be a doctor, but she is failing most of her classes because, despite having an IEP, her needs are not being met by the school. Her teachers view her problems as behavioral rather than as learning deficiencies. Divine knows that M’Kyia really cares, but he has no idea how to help her because he has not yet even figured out how to help himself.
As he finishes up his sophomore year, Divine is conflicted. He simultaneously cannot wait to get out of McNair High School and is terrified that he will never be ready to leave. He knows that he is underprepared for college, but he feels like there is nothing he can do about that. His one solace is that his English teacher is teaching him not only how to succeed in school even when his circumstances are terrible, but also how to advocate for himself and find his voice. She has been encouraging him to tell his other teachers why he does not get his homework done, but he has not yet followed through on her advice. He hopes he will be able to find the courage to stand up for himself and get out of the cycle of oppression in which he currently lives.
Sadly, Divine’s story is much happier than many of the tales I heard at McNair High School. Many of the students with whom I spoke seemed very downtrodden when it came to education. They told me about teachers walking out and just never coming back. They told me that school lunch was sometimes the only food they ate in a day because their families could not afford to feed them. They told me about being labeled as “bad kids” because they acted out and that hardly anyone ever bothered to ask why they acted they way they did. They told me that they felt like all there was waiting for them after high school was prison. They told me about fights that lead to blood being smeared down the hallway. They told me about friends who had been murdered and friends who had killed themselves. They told me about their former assistant principal being arrested right in front of them. They told me that their principal was being investigated on charges of embezzlement. It felt almost insensitive to ask them about being digital learners when the ability to be learners in any sense of the word was actively being taken away from them. I did ask some of them about their technology use, and I learned that many of them have had very little opportunity to become technologically literate. Many of the students told me that they only have Internet access at school, and most of them do not have smartphones. Those who do have smartphones largely use Kik (a messaging application) and Snapchat (a photo sharing application) to communicate with their friends. Some of them told me that they did not even have an email account until they were told they had to make one for English class. It seemed so odd that these teenagers were so cut off from technology. It made me think about the inherent privilege I have in my life. Growing up, I never had to worry that I would not have the resources to complete a project for school. I never had to fear that I would not have anything to eat. In the entire time I was at my high school, there were two fights; both of them lasted for under a minute, and no one was seriously injured. If I ever acted out of character or was rude to a teacher, no one assumed it was a behavior issue, but instead, teachers asked me what was wrong and sought to help me. I grew up in a relatively affluent, white, suburban school. The fact that I never even had to think about these things is the perfect illustration of privilege. I never want to make the mistake that it sounds like some of the teachers at McNair High School make with these students. They are assuming that privilege is inherent and is something that we all share. They discount the circumstances that these students are in, and they assume that defiance and incomplete assignments are the fault of the students. This assignment has really opened my eyes to the realities of inner city schools, especially when it comes to how socioeconomic status affects every aspect of education. These are the students who need the most resources to combat the circumstances that life has thrown them. This activity left me with one big question. If these are the students who need the most, why is it that they are receiving the least?
No comments:
Post a Comment